life

Yeah, going back to work pretty much killed me this week. However, there have been no disasters and I’m starting to feel like I’m actually getting caught up on things, so there’s that. Hurrah. My routine is getting pretty settled and I’m feeling positive. 🙂

I’m also doing pretty well towards most of my January goals: I avoided the vending machine at work all week, I’ve been drinking at least 1.5l water a day, I only went to Greggs once and I didn’t order in pizza.
I lost 4lb – my weight is down to 207. *cheers*

I also found my fitbit and charger and charged my fitbit and got a baseline of my food and walking over last week. Which means I’ve been able to give myself a goal for the coming week of walking 6050 steps a day or 2.5 miles a day. I’m aiming towards a daily calorie intake of 1300.

I’ve also been writing. As well as that John solo fic, I’ve written like 3k of Jack/Cam and I found and have been editing an old unfinished CW RPS AU fic.

It’s been a good week! 🙂

life

2017

So 2016 was the year I found my new normal after the last 1/3 of 2015., I got on meds that stabilised me, I found a therapist that really helped me and I’m feeling pretty balanced.

Don’t get me wrong, the year started off disastrously. I attempted suicide. I cut again for the first time in 2 years. I lost a job I loved. My guardian angels have been working overtime to protect me from myself a few points.

But sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to come back.

And I have. I’ve found another job. I’m no longer in danger of losing my nest. I had an amazing holiday with my Natalie. I’ve been to some kick ass cons and met some people very important to me. I discovered that some things I used to be terrified of are no longer as they once we’re.

I may not have been to as many gigs and cons as I would have liked. I don’t have any planned for 2017. But there is some semblance of financial stability in the not too distant future and I will be able to start getting out of debt.

So here is to an awesome 2017! May it be filled with love and laughter and good food and amazing people and all of the things that make us happy

health

Health update… yes another!

Things did get better on Sunday. I took my anxiety meds, showered, took the pills and potions and went to Tesco once I’d calmed down. I then spent the afternoon curled up on the couch watching Shirley Valentine and Silent Hill.

Yesterday I decided I’d had enough of having a cough and no voice for over a week so I rang the doctors for an appointment. Only to be told I could have one in January. Um… no. Start telling the receptionist that I’m asthmatic and though I had a chest infection only to dissolve into a coughing fit. That managed to get me a call back from the doctor.

When the doctor called, I could barely talk and just coughed lots. He turned around and got me an appointment for the following morning.

9:20 this morning rolls around and I get seen by the doctor on time. Mild fever, blood oxygen and blood pressure normal. Lungs ‘perfectly clear’ and then he looks down my throat. He declares it’s all very red and swollen and angry and that there’s ulcers all around my pharynx. Says I have pharyngitis and laryngitis. That it normally takes 10-15 days to clear so I’m at the half-way mark. Keep hydrated, keep taking paracetamol and soothers. Rest my voice. If it’s not better next week come back.

*sigh*
On the bright side, I don’t have to answer the phones in work! I’ve got my phone set to ‘send all to voicemail’, pick up the messages as they’re left and email people back with ‘sorry, can’t return your call, I’ve got laryngitis’… I’m clearing my backlog of emails and queries nicely which makes me happy.

Tonight… tonight I’m thinking I’m going to stay curled up on my couch and listen to the Spotify ‘Christmas Crackers’ playlist, in an effort to find some Christmas spirit before the weekend. So far there’s been Shakin’ Stevens, Wham!, Wizzard, Paul McCartney, Band Aid and still to come there’s Slade, The Pogues & Kirsty Macoll, Elton John, Michael Buble…
But of course, I can’t sing along 😦

work

work work work work work

My job role changed again in work today. I’m still with the same company I’ve been temping at since June but I’m now officially a Purchase Ledger Clerk. They’ve been really struggling to fill this role since like August and they asked me last week if I’d be able to take it on as well. I’ll be getting confirmation later this week of what my payrise will be.

See, N got promoted internally back in the summer and because there’s a recruitment freeze on, we got a temp K in to cover her role. Except, K, bless her, wasn’t quite suited for the job. Lovely girl but never worked in an office before and had no purchase ledger experience…

When I logged on to her computer today, there were over 200 emails and there’s over 300 invoices in the internal queue as well. I’ve set up an out-of-office on her emails so that anyone who emails will get notified that she’s left and given my email.

I’m also still supporting the Facilities department, raising all the Purchase Orders for the jobs and doing admin work for UK Premises & Facilities Contracts Manager.

My current plan of action is:
Mornings – Start with my facilities work, get all purchase orders out of the way. Then new purchase ledger emails as they come in and working on the internal workflow
Afternoons – Keep on working through K’s aged emails.

We’ll see what happens. I’m looking forward to getting my teeth back into purchase ledger work again – not so much trying to dig out of the 2 months worth of backlog that’s been left for me but I’m sure I’ll get everything balanced out again…

Wish me luck?

blogging

New beginnings

Hullo internets

I realise my blogging and commenting has been more than a little sporadic over the last few months. I’ve honestly just not really been feeling it, not feeling like I’ve been doing anything worth writing about or caring enough about other people to know what they have. I know that may sound a little harsh but it’s also extended to real life people as well. A depression symptom that I am well aware of.

My job has had me dealing with a lot more people in a much bigger office than I’ve been used to for a few years. Then I had holiday and con and was peopling constantly. I’ve just been getting in from work and feeling completely drained, dropping down onto the sofa and that’s been it.

However over the last few days or so, I’ve actually started to miss blogging. Missed opening up this ‘post’ box, typing out whatever comes into my head and just hitting post. Then reading what you guy are up to and interacting and stuff.

I figured a new beginning at the new start of a new month was as good a place as any to start. I’m still feeling kind of hermity and not wanting to venture out into the world. I’m going to ignore the fact I have groceries and housework to do and just want to take a chill day – sit on my sofa, put my legs up, snuggle under my blankie and watch lots of pretty. And while I’m doing that seems a good chance to start catching up on some of the blogs and journals that I love to read

life

An actual update

Hello everyone.

Long time no post, but I’m pleased to be able to say that I’m doing… pretty ok, actually. I still have the odd bad day but no, things are good. I’m back down to the lowest dosage of my mirtazapine, propranolol is now only 10mg as and when needed and I’m completely off the zopiclone.

I started a new job in June and it’s going really well. I’m a ‘general services clerk’ for a local electrical engineering company supporting facilities/premises, finance and legal. It’s mostly just raising purchase orders, placing orders and sorting post but I’m really enjoying it. It’s 08:00-16:30 Mon-Thurs and 08:00-15:30 on a Friday, and it’s only a 15-20 minute drive from home, depending on traffic. It’s a temp job but the contract keeps being rolled over because the company has a recruitment freeze on… currently my contract is til the end of the year.
I’m not overly fond of the girls in the office – very bitchy – but I’m still in touch with the girls (and Minion from IRW.

I’m currently dorking out obsessively over bulletjournals and planners. I can spend hours watching #planwithme videos on youtube, I find them really relaxing – almost as much fun as actually doing it myself!

And in 10 days and 18 hours, I get on a plane that takes me to San Francisco for 2016’s shenanigans 😀

101 Things In 1001 Days

100 Things That Make Me Happy

As part of my 101 Things In 1001 Days I set out to write a list of 100 Things That Make Me Happy.

It took me something like 2 months to compile the list and I was mindful to try to make sure it wasn’t just fandom related – that it was very well-rounded and covered a variety of things that I enjoy.

If I’m honest, It was actually a lot harder to do than anticipated. I don’t know if that’s just because of how down I’ve been over the last 6 months or so. At the same time, though, writing it and re-reading it has been a pretty good form of therapy. Reminding me of little things that make me smile – and nudging me to go and do some of them.

Anything than involves happiness is never a bad thing, right?

So here is 100 things that make Cassie happy
1. Going to bed and knowing I don’t have an alarm set in the morning
2. Having a hot bath, putting on warm & clean pjs and getting into a freshly made bed with clean bedding
3. Getting a forward-facing window seat with a table on the train to work
4. Getting any seat on the train home from work
5. My Natalie
6. My Dragon
7. Stargate SG1
8. Stargate Atlantis
9. Star Wars
10. TLOR gigs
Continue reading “100 Things That Make Me Happy”