When you feel like letting go…

Apparently, sometimes you just need to dance in the rain!

It’s been an… odd couple of months, mental health wise. I’ve been struggling and trying to deny it and back on my meds for three weeks now. I had the nightmare 10 days or so of riding out the waves of side-effects. Obviously, the meds aren’t fully functioning yet but I’m starting to see some admittedly small changes.

This week… this week has been very stressful at work.
Facilities me has been run off her feet sorting out the after effects of a fire in the warehouse.
Finance me has had some pretty epic yelling suppliers. There have been tears and there have been tantrums!

It all came to a head on Thursday afternoon. I snapped at a supplier on the phone, I hid in the loo and cried multiple times. I ate my weight in chocolate a few times over. I was… shall we actively fighting the urge to do something stupid. I mostly achieved it.

Throw in a hellish drive down to London on Friday (it took me 7 hours to drive 170 miles!) and the weather at the weekend and I almost said fuck it and didn’t go.

But I did.

Saturday, in an utterly shocking statement, I went to a Raintown gig. They were playing in Canada Square as part of Nashville meets London. Kicked the whole thing off which was AWESOME. It was slightly damp in the way that I was soaked through my pac-a-mac. I’d hit the point I was completely drenched, couldn’t physically get any wetter.

I just… I let go. I was singing my heart out, crying my eyes out, laughing, and just… yeah dancing in the rain. It was what I needed.

Music! Music! Music!

I loved the overview of the books I read in 2016 so figured I’d do the same with my music – gotta love last.fm for giving music listening stats *grins*

I listened to 347 different artists, and the top ten were:
Good Charlotte
Gary Quinn
Ward Thomas
Jenn Bostic
Raintown
Enya
Holloway Road
Jess and the Bandits
Steve Carlson
Britney Spears

And my most played song of the year was
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My month in music – March 2016

I did this last month and found it pretty interesting, so am going to try and make it a semi-regular thing.

According to my last.fm stats, my 10 most listened to artists in March 2016 are:
Britney Spears
Raintown
Enya
Gary Allan
Guns N’ Roses
Hannah Montana
Heart
Claydon Connor
Jack Johnson
Paramore

… I’m not even sure I should be admitting to some of those *side-eyes list* But anyway, we have pop, country, new age, hard rock, disney, classic rock and pop punk.

And my most played track of the month?

What have you been listening to lately?

100 Things That Make Me Happy

As part of my 101 Things In 1001 Days I set out to write a list of 100 Things That Make Me Happy.

It took me something like 2 months to compile the list and I was mindful to try to make sure it wasn’t just fandom related – that it was very well-rounded and covered a variety of things that I enjoy.

If I’m honest, It was actually a lot harder to do than anticipated. I don’t know if that’s just because of how down I’ve been over the last 6 months or so. At the same time, though, writing it and re-reading it has been a pretty good form of therapy. Reminding me of little things that make me smile – and nudging me to go and do some of them.

Anything than involves happiness is never a bad thing, right?

So here is 100 things that make Cassie happy
1. Going to bed and knowing I don’t have an alarm set in the morning
2. Having a hot bath, putting on warm & clean pjs and getting into a freshly made bed with clean bedding
3. Getting a forward-facing window seat with a table on the train to work
4. Getting any seat on the train home from work
5. My Natalie
6. My Dragon
7. Stargate SG1
8. Stargate Atlantis
9. Star Wars
10. TLOR gigs
Continue reading

My Month in Music

I’ve always had incredibly eclectic taste in music. In fact, if you asked my Natalie she’d happily tell you that my music tastes have multiple personality disorder! It’s true, really. I probably do have about 4, if not 5, different people’s worth of music taste.

I’m not trying to say that this is bad. Just an observation about the fact it can get pretty damn weird.

So out of curiousity, I poked at some of last.fm‘s stats and apparently, my 10 most listened to artists in February 2016 are:
5 Seconds Of Summer
Enya
Foxboro Hot Tubs
Raintown
Florida Georgia Line
Five Finger Death Punch
Five For Fighting
Gary Quinn
Spice Girls
Forever The Sickest Kids.
We have there pop/punk, new age, punk, country, southern rock, metalcore, alternative rock and 90s pop… And, apparently February was brought to you by the number 5 and the letter F!

And my most played track of the month?


I don’t even know LMFAO

What have you been listening to lately?

You know you’re gonna live thru the rain

I am slowly starting to feel more llama like. I’m still not sleeping right, as is noted by the 1am posting of this update. I got to sleep at 05:00 this morning (or, yesterday morning) and slept through til 10:00 – I’m not feeling as exhausted though. I’m hoping that as I get back my days into a routine, the nights will come too. I’m also pondering just pushing through and doing an all nighter tonight, no naps tomorrow and hopefully crashing tomorrow night. We’ll see, we’ll see.

My mood is definitely improving. I’ve gone a whole day without bursting into floods of tears over absolutely nothing. I even had reason to cry today and I didn’t.

I had to go to the doctors to pick up some paperwork, and as I was driving there and back, Lotte was running hot. Just as I get home, ping! She completely overheats and a big red ‘stop’ light comes on. I have a little flail then call the AA. Seems my baby girl has a coolant leak because there’s a crack in the thermostat housing. The good news, however, is that it’s covered under the warranty from when the thermostat and radiator were replaced a few months ago.

I can’t even find a way to blame Raintown this time… the fact I was listening to their CD is a bit of a push since it lives in the car

And now I have a shiny little VW Polo courtesy/hire car for a couple of days. It’s so small, but omg it’s so new and has all the gadgets and things to play with! It makes me want a new car and then I feel bad because I do really love my Lotte. I’m just frustrated with her a little right now. *sigh*

Music Music Music

I’m working from home today because I had a doctors appointment this morning. The coughing from the flu is really pinging my asthma so I went down to get it looked at. Spent a little time on a nebuliser and have another three days worth of oral steroids.
UGH!

Working from home on payday actually seems to mean: AND NOW CASSIE BUYS ALL THE GIG TICKETS!

So. Um. The next couple months now looks something like
January 30 Gary Quinn @ Gullivers, Manchester

March 08 Gary Quinn, Luke & Mel and Raintown @ 229, London
March 11-13 C2C @ 02 London
March 22 Emma Stevens @ Robin 2, Bilston
March 26 Day out at the British Museum, London
March 28 Dexeter @ Castle Hotel, Manchester

April 28 Jess & the Bandits and Luke & Mel @ Oobleck, Birmingham

May 11 Jason Donovan @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham

I’m also very tempted with

April 23 – 24 Wales Comic Con – depending on who they announce
April 30-May 1 East Midlands Comic Con – Torri Higginson, Rainbow Sun Francks & Pauly McGillion

Oooh I’m all excited. I love having gigs planned… it makes me feel like me!