Destined For Geekness

I’m pretty sure I was always going to be a geek.

My mum used to tell me how when I was about 2 or 3, the only way she could get peace and quiet to get anything done around the house was to sit my in my high-chair in front of the TV when Dukes Of Hazzard was on. I mean Dukes Of Hazzard… what 2-3 year old girl gets fascinated by that show?! Also, as I sit here typing it, I have 3 General Lee’s in his room. And the first car I ever bought brand new was orange, in honour of her. And it’s my favourite colour. I have no idea if that’s connected.
I remember getting SO excited about a decade or so ago when I met Catherine Bach. I’m pretty sure I would die if I ever met John Schneider or Tom Wopat.

I then spent a lot of time in the late 80s/early 90s watching a lot of the ‘boys’ stuff. Cartoon-wise it was Ghostbusters, Bucky O’Hare, Defenders Of The Earth and I was totally nuts over Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles – wallpaper, bedding… I read the TMNT, Ghostbusters, Bucky O’Hare comics too. And The Beano.
I also loved to watch like Doctor Who, The A-Team, MacGyver, Magnum PI, Knight Rider, CHiPs. Y’know, the sort of thing all self-respecting 7-8 year old girl would watch. Man I was such a tomboy.

I would ready The Famous Five and The Hardy Boys… and I was doing fanfic and roleplay before I even knew what they were. Playing in the woods, making up and acting out my own stories where I was with them. Or one time where Joe Hardy got hurt so Frank Hardy kissed it better. Yup. I was about 9.

I also used to write stories. I remember one that was about an evil witch who enchanted all the toys to do her bidding, and these two girls who just wanted their dolls back and went on a quest. There was a dragon and… I have no idea what happened but I remember them having cheese and branston pickle sandwiches in their picnic!

As I moved towards teens, I found the horror and sci-fi sections of the library. Stephen King was (still is) a favourite, and there was more than one occasion where a librarian would ring my mum and ask if she was sure I should be checking out these books. Mum was just like ‘it’s a book, let her read it’

At the same time, I was watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on TV. The X-Files started when I was like 13-14. I also discovered re-runs of Jon Pertwee & Tom Baker era Doctor Who, 60s horror movies (hammer house of horror LOVE!), the outer limits, the twilight zone… And that little show, don’t know if you’ve heard of it? Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I know I’ve mentioned before how much the show influenced me and how I grew up with the characters, being the same age as them.
I was writing X-Files fanfiction as well. Proper alien abduction sci-fi stuff. By hand. And getting a teacher to correct it.

A group of my friends and I snuck into the cinema to see Interiew With A Vampire in the mid-90s. It was an 18 and we were maybe 14. But it was vampires, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Christian Slater and Antonio Banderas, what were we supposed to do? We all came out of the cinema in LOVE… and my first stop was the bookshop where I bought the first three of the Vampire Chronicles. And fell even more in love, only with Armand and Daniel *draws sparkly orange hearts*

I loved all the sci-fi films at that time – Stargate, Independence Day, Men In Black, The Mummy. And also Mission Impossible. Again with being a total tomboy!

I got the internet and found online fandom in 1999/2000, and fell head over heels into Savage Garden RPS slash, shortly followed by Star Wars: The Phantom Menace and The Sentinel. I’ve been involved in one fandom or another since then, always reading and writing fanfic and squeeing muchly, sometimes roleplaying.
I started going to sci-fi conventions around the same time.

Sci-fi and horror has always been such a part of my life, and so has fandom. I can’t imagine a world without fangirling! I’ve met some incredible people through fandom, love how fandoms connect and you find new shows and books and movies and music and people in the strangest ways. Pretty much everyoen I know in real life I’ve met… well in a queue for something or other, either at a gig or a convention!

Today finds me starting something new for me. Well.
I’ve not read comics since I was in my early teens and I have in front of my some copies of The Amazing Spiderman, The Uncanny X-Men and The Invincible Iron Man. Actually quite excited to dive in…


My Month in Music

I’ve always had incredibly eclectic taste in music. In fact, if you asked my Natalie she’d happily tell you that my music tastes have multiple personality disorder! It’s true, really. I probably do have about 4, if not 5, different people’s worth of music taste.

I’m not trying to say that this is bad. Just an observation about the fact it can get pretty damn weird.

So out of curiousity, I poked at some of last.fm‘s stats and apparently, my 10 most listened to artists in February 2016 are:
5 Seconds Of Summer
Foxboro Hot Tubs
Florida Georgia Line
Five Finger Death Punch
Five For Fighting
Gary Quinn
Spice Girls
Forever The Sickest Kids.
We have there pop/punk, new age, punk, country, southern rock, metalcore, alternative rock and 90s pop… And, apparently February was brought to you by the number 5 and the letter F!

And my most played track of the month?

I don’t even know LMFAO

What have you been listening to lately?


5 Fandom Friday: 5 Things in My Purse at All Times

I started this thinking ‘What a restricive topic, who has different stuff in their purse?’ I mean there’s just money, debit card, drivers license, Riley’s guitar plectrum and random receipts. But then I realised… oh, hey… this is probably meaning the American definition of purse so… what you’re actually asking me is 5 Things in My Bag at All Times?

Now this does vary depending on the bag I’m carrying and where I’m going. When I’ve got my rucksack there’s a lot more in it than when I’ve got my little bag. So, in my rucksack I have:

Medication Pretty important this one, although sometimes making me feel like a walking Boots. At minimum, I have my inhaler, ibuprofen, cocadamol, sertraline, propanolol and iron pils.

A book/my kindle To be fair, I commute to and from work so I always need something to read to kill the time. I have my kindle in case I finish the physical book. Also works as something of a security blanket when going into situations I’m not sure what’s happening and I’m on my own.
If I’ve got my small bag, it’s the kindle only

Planner/pen/notebook Either my diary and a pen or a notebook and a pen. Sometimes both, depending on where I’m going, what I’m doing and who I’m with. Well you never know when you’re going to need to make a note of something, write something down or, as a writer – when inspiration is going to strike.
If I’ve got my small bag, it’s a small notebook & a pen.

Wallet As mentioned up there, money and ID. Plus it’s a nice geeky emblem because it has a nice little SGC design on it.

The last item is Keys or Phone because these two vary between being in my pocket or being in my bag. Again, it depends on what bag I’ve got, where I’m going etc
House keys & car keys – I won’t get very far without these. I also have a radar key for using the disabled toilets.
Phone – I cannot live without it. It’s like missing my left arm if I don’t have it with me. My music lives on it too! But also there’s the safety issue as I’m a disabled woman travelling on my own a lot of the time

A Major Tattoo

I committed an act of comment_fic today. Just a couple of lines for a prompt that caught my eye. It was very bizarre – not a pairing I read, or write, or ever even thought of before. But the prompt intrigued me and my muse wrote a couple of lines.

The prompt was Stargate: Atlantis, Ronon Dex/Evan Lorne, Evan has tattoos and Ronon likes kissing them and my fill was just It curls over his hip, ink of black and red and green, drawing Ronon’s eyes round and down. He can hear Evan’s chuckle, feel the tease of Evan’s fingers in his hair and he looks up, sees his hunger reflected back in dark-ringed eyes.

He smirks as Evan moans his name then dips his head, tongue following the trail on hot, salty, skin.

And that, I thought, was that. I left a couple of prompts and carried on about my business.

Only now… well now Bob! will not shut the hell up about Evan Lorne’s damn tattoo! He’s telling me that it’s a dragon tattoo that covers Evan from the base of his neck to his knee. The head of the dragon is on his shoulder, maybe claws on his chest, all down his back, tail curling around his thigh!

And Bob! is giving me all these images of a this scene, the sun setting over Atlantis, the room dusky, no lights on and Ronon slowly undressing Evan, more and more ink being revealed… he’s tracing the design with fingers then with his tongue, with Evan squirming under his ministrations.

I don’t even know… Bloody muses!


You know you’re gonna live thru the rain

I am slowly starting to feel more llama like. I’m still not sleeping right, as is noted by the 1am posting of this update. I got to sleep at 05:00 this morning (or, yesterday morning) and slept through til 10:00 – I’m not feeling as exhausted though. I’m hoping that as I get back my days into a routine, the nights will come too. I’m also pondering just pushing through and doing an all nighter tonight, no naps tomorrow and hopefully crashing tomorrow night. We’ll see, we’ll see.

My mood is definitely improving. I’ve gone a whole day without bursting into floods of tears over absolutely nothing. I even had reason to cry today and I didn’t.

I had to go to the doctors to pick up some paperwork, and as I was driving there and back, Lotte was running hot. Just as I get home, ping! She completely overheats and a big red ‘stop’ light comes on. I have a little flail then call the AA. Seems my baby girl has a coolant leak because there’s a crack in the thermostat housing. The good news, however, is that it’s covered under the warranty from when the thermostat and radiator were replaced a few months ago.

I can’t even find a way to blame Raintown this time… the fact I was listening to their CD is a bit of a push since it lives in the car

And now I have a shiny little VW Polo courtesy/hire car for a couple of days. It’s so small, but omg it’s so new and has all the gadgets and things to play with! It makes me want a new car and then I feel bad because I do really love my Lotte. I’m just frustrated with her a little right now. *sigh*


I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness

Apologies for the lack of updates over the last week. I’ve been a bit unwell. I’ve been signed off work for the last two weeks, spent a couple of days in hospital but I’m doing better now. I’ve struggled with my depression and fatigue since I had the flu last month and just hadn’t been able to pull myself back up. I’ve been tired, utterly exhausted, constantly, only not able to sleep. And because I’ve been so tired, I wasn’t able to cope with the depression.

It turns out that I am pretty damn anemic, which explains a lot. I’m on some lovely iron pills, 200mg, 3x a day for the next two months. Can I just say that my tummy kinda hates me now.
I’ve had my dosage of my antidepressants and my sleeping pills increased. And oh the sleeping pills are working wonderfully… they knocked me out for 14hrs last night and it felt heavenly.

The increased dose of the anti-depressant is definitely working and I’m starting to find balance. Work is arranging for me to start counselling, so that could be interesting.

I’m also pre-diabetic, only just tipped over into the warning so I’ve got an appointment with a diabetes nurse to discuss methods to try to combat it, hopefully try to stop me from developing diabetes in the first place. I sat down and talked with a friend yesterday who is diabetic and learned a LOT from her about carbohydrates so will be putting that into action myself over the coming weeks.

Hopefully things will start to even out in my head and I’ll get back to normal – or what passes for normal around here.


5 Fandom Friday – Womances

Womances. Can I just say I’m not a fan of that term? And I’ve talked this over with my Dragon this afternoon while pondering and for all that I’m a slasher, I really don’t have very many femmeslash pairings. I’m not sure if that’s a) bad lesbian!, b) I want them for myself or c) a long commentary on the lack of female characters interacting with each other.

But, as I was making thinky noises about the topic, I ended up rambling somewhat at length about the female characters that I completely adore and thought ‘hey, I’ll do my top 5 female characters instead’ because that’s mostly related to the prompt!

Willow_Season_7First things first and we go back in time to Buffy The Vampire Slayer and one of my first major female fictional crushes, Willow Rosenberg

I was the same age as Buffy, Xander and Willow. I grew up with them. A lot of the things they were going through – ok, maybe not the vampires, demons, forces of darkness stuff – but the school and boys and family and friends, I was going through at the same time. And Willow was the first time I saw me on-screen – I was the shy, awkward, non-fashion wearing geek. I loved school. I got interested in Wicca around the same time Willow found magic. We both discovered we liked girls at the same time.

And, let’s face it, Alyson Hannigan isn’t exactly hard on the eyes.

My love for Willow… ♥

900_24Have I mentioned my love for Amanda Tapping recently? *draws even more sparkly orange hearts around the woman* And, while, yes, my introduction to Amanda was as Helen Magnus there is definitely something to be said for Stargate SG1 and Sam Carter.

From the first time we met her, we knew Sam was going to take no shit from anyone, and the more we got to know her… she’s this intelligent, independent woman who’s passionate and dorky. She’s a soldier but she’s also a woman – we see her riding & fixing motorcyles in leather, but also dancing and going shopping, having mani/pedis in floral dresses.

abby-sciutoI’ve often been known to say that NCIS‘s Chief Forensic Scientist Abby Sciuto is my perfect woman, and it really is true!

I love the paradox of her gothic style and her enthusiasm for her work. She’s this incredibly smart, caffeinated, tattooed, bubbly, caring, capable woman. Who loves dogs. And she’s so protective of her team and I love her relationship with Gibbs. She’s so varied as well, the complete opposite of what you would expect based on how she looks… I mean she goes bowling with nuns! A completely rounded, three-dimensional character… it’s almost like she’s a real person. …a paradox wrapped in an oxymoron smothered in contradictions in terms. Sleeps in a coffin. Really, the happiest goth you’ll ever meet as DiNozzo would say

Penelope-Garcia-criminal-minds-35492355-1024-768Sticking to the apparent theme of kick-ass women who solve crime, we have Criminal Minds‘s Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia. Again, somewhere up in the lines of being my perfect woman!

She’s flamboyant and outrageous and fun-loving and optimistic and excitable and provides a bit of often well-needed comic relief. I love her style, her colourfulness and her uniqueness. She’s confident and sexy and not afraid to show her emotions – especially when it comes to the BAU members, and especiallyMorgan. My love for those two is… pretty epic but that’s an entirely different ramble!

dana-scullyLast but by no means least is The X-Files very own FBI Special Agent Dana Scully; a woman who had quite the role in shaping my formative, early teen, years.

I was always really interested in science but of course, that wasn’t ‘cool’. Along comes Scully, an FBI Agent who’s a Dr and has a degree in physics. Suddenly, STEM is… maybe a little less dorky.

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Honourable Mentions
Princess Leia (Star Wars)
Felicity Smoak (Arrow)
Maura Isles (Rizzoli & Isles)
Alex Reid (Saving Hope)
Cassandra Cillian (The Librarians)
Parker (Leverage)
Hermione Granger (Harry Potter)